Mira Matar

Sometimes you have to fight. It's not easy, as a parent, to watch you struggle with what appears to be colic. As a parent, and especially at this very nascent stage, one wants to help. But in moments like these, you must draw on your own will. You, must fight. You face turns purple, your hands clench up, you scratch at yourself with instinctive responses; to the pain. You are fighting. It seems, at first glance, that you are fighting against the pain.  I suggest that: you are fighting for life, beyond that pain. We support you as much as we can sweetheart. There are limits to what a parent can do. Beyond those limits, it is up to you and how you stand up. Survival itself is a fight. A fight for the next breath. With every breath, the fight continues; changing form. The fight is not so much against something, as much as it is For Something. On another occasion, I will share more about the "For Something". I will share with you thoughts about the stories that we tell oursel...

When you fly on an airplane, instructions exist regarding what to do in an emergency. The first instruction you typically read is: Put on YOUR OWN oxygen mask first! That is, help yourself first.  Why?  Because you cannot help others, at least not for long, if you yourself are without oxygen. An expression analogous to the airplane instruction, that you'll often here bandied about is: "Get your own house in order first". As we grow and mature sweetheart, we become responsible for others. Initially though, we must learn to become responsible for ourselves. What made me think about this today??? Your beautiful little hands.  Yes, your hands. They reminded me of the idea of: "lending a helping hand". Given that help can be manifested in numerous ways, and given that different skills can be invoked to lend a helping hand, it seemed apt to capture a few of the varied moves that you made. Powerful Orchestral Committed Patient There is an old expression that goes somet...

Our conversation yesterday involved something about growth; that indicator that life exists. Like everything, there is more than one side to this; discomfort. Could that explain why today saw almost no sleep ensue? Your Mum thinks so. And I don't know. What's clear is that you have been very unsettled today; and a lack of sleep is one the consequences. "This too shall pass":  I keep quietly reminding myself, and imparting to you. On a more positive note today, you spoke to some relatives in the land of Oz this morning. Two of your cousins actually. Together with their Mums. And in one case, you also spoke to your grandmother. Aaliyah spoke to you from hospital. Why from there? In short, a health issue. She is a fighter. She is also a joyful and caring young lady. You're going to love getting to know her later. In fact, you're going to love getting to know all of your wonderful cousins in Australia! Aaliyah waving to you! Zena jumped out of bed and ran over to ...

Everything comes to an end. That fact is inspiring: It inspires one To Live. Whilst the gift of life is here.  Protect your health, and protect your gift. 'From dust to dust' note the great traditions. What about in between those bookends? Growth: The cornerstone of life.  Yes, growth.  Growth means progress. No progress means not being alive. Stay alive sweetheart. QUALIFICATION: The growth I am talking about is not comparative.  What do I mean?  I mean that it is not measured relative to others.  It is measured against yourself. It is measured against your potential.  The 'yesterday you' cannot be changed. The 'today you' can live with gratitude and with creativity. The gratitude will infuse your life with joy. The creativity will shape the 'you of tomorrow'. As to the you of today right now, life is far simpler at this point. The voluntary element is yet to kick in; beyond the instinct to survive that is. Measures of growth right now are essentially...

In life sweetheart, Never take your ability to move for granted. There is actually an expression, in Russian, that translates as "Movement = Life" Your body is still learning to move now. When you get very very old, your body will be unable to move the way that a young one does.  (Disclaimer here: who knows what biotech has in store??? 😂. There may be creations in time that allow you to be nimble as an 18 year old, at 80! 😂) For now though, the current rules apply. And at your very early stage, your body is learning about itself.  We are helping with this process.  Mum's doing an amazing job darling. So patient, attentive and understanding. Patiently helping you stretch Attentive. By the way, you began making new sounds (apart from screams) for the first time late yesterday. The closest thing that I can note them down as reflecting is the Arabic letter غ. Understanding. After you'd "exercised", you and I had some time together. Mum got to enjoy a late lunc...

Daddy has a cousin in France. She lives in Bordeaux. She and her husband met you for the first time today.  You were travelling virtually. It used to be the case darling that people would have to travel in person to see one another's faces.  By the time you reach adulthood sweetheart, there will likely be advances in AR & VR (& heaven knows what else that is not yet foreseen!) that make what we do today seem laughable. This is a screenshot of today's virtual travels.  Not only did they check in from France with congratulations today, they also shared news that they too are expecting! As a side note darling, I should let you know that you have relatives in Australia, in the USA, in various parts of Central & South America, various countries in Europe, and various parts of the Middle East. If we add to that friends of your Mum and Dad, then we spread that net even further & wider! Back from wider to the very specific, there was another first today. Riding in...

You can't speak yet sweetheart. But you have needs. A need for sustenance, a need for physical comfort, and a need for psycho-emotional peace of mind. As far as I know, these are the core. The needs you have are connected. But, they differ. How do you communicate which need you currently have? Have do you impart the differences? Quite frankly, at this stage, you don't! 😂 You have a single tool at your disposal: Screaming. There may be differences in volume, depending on the urgency of the need to be met, but the tool is one & the same: Screaming. Given that your scream can be a result of several different reasons, a lack of clarity can ensue regarding your needs. As the possible options regarding your needs are not extremely varied at this stage of your life, it is not too bad a scenario if the initial multiple choice option is not correct.  Quickly enough, Mum or I will go down the list.  Sure enough, and soon enough, you get sorted. What about once you grow up? It struc...

Every breath is a new life sweetheart. How is that so? Think about it.  With every breath taken, we get allocated time to be alive. With every next breath, we get another slice of time to live. Try to infuse your every breath with recognition of the magic that is life. Growing, learning, experiencing, doing, participating, contributing: BEING, in every sense. Valuing every moment you get, every breath you get, will enhance the quality of your life. We attribute value to life in our minds. Remember that sweetheart. And define every breath as a gift. Use that gift. Be a creator. Be a contributor. Be a shaper of a better future, for yourself and for others. Reflection is (1) a precursor to action; & (2) necessary for constructive reviews post action. A positive attitude gives you altitude. Life becomes limitless as unfounded fears & mental limits dissolve. Love and support provide a solid springboard of a base. Rest is something we earn; so that we can re-energize & repeat...

22/09/22 is how today's date is written in it's abbreviated form. I don't know how your mind reacts to seeing this. I'll share with you how mine does. It sees beauty. The synchronicity of the two 22's. The nine in the centre is magical in this context too; given that it is three to the power of 2. Beauty can be found, or (even better) created, in so many spheres of life.  Creating is beautiful. Listening is beautiful. Sharing is beautiful. Breathing is beautiful. Discipline is beautiful. A good meal is beautiful. Seeing others happy is beautiful. Being happy is beautiful. Working on something meaningful is beautiful. Being physically able is beautiful. Being mentally able is beautiful. Being loved is beautiful. Loving others is beautiful. Realising your potential daily is beautiful. The list is genuinely endless. Your own perspective on things is the cornerstone. ... Careful what you imbibe from others as you grow darling. Too often when we see or hear beauty being ...

When I, your Dad, first came to Belarus, I had no idea what a real 'winter' looks like. By the way, I didn't know that I didn't know. Ouch. Living through the experience of minus 25 to minus 30 degrees Celsius was an awakening. A rude awakening. Given that I am here writing now, tells you that I survived. More about resilience another time.  Except to say for now:  You have the elements for resilience wired into your very being. It's up to you to draw on the relevant parts of your being when needed in the future. My ancestors, Mum's ancestors, and thus (given that you are half-half Mum & Dad) Your ancestors, were resilient and tenacious. Carry that resilience forward sweetheart. It'll help you Be, Do, Share... The Have is a consequence of these things; and of the value-add that flows from them. Back to the cold, and to something that this moment with you today reminded me of. Sometime during my first experience in the cold in Eastern Europe,  I was told:...

Irrespective of the fact that life is not easy. Irrespective of the fact that every day involves challenges; some visible, some invisible, and some that are seedlings to bigger challenges to come. Effort, intelligently directed, and especially team (sometimes a family team) effort is a winner... Especially when operating with a long enough time frame.  Again that whole delayed gratification gig. Discipline is required for that delay. And here's a kicker: Discipline is a cornerstone of joy too. The discipline of gratitude and appreciation. Appreciate what you have. Let me clarify something here. Appreciation doesn't mean 'be lazy' or to 'leave things to the wind of fate'. Absolutely not.  I don't mean rest on your laurels sweetheart.  I do mean give yourself joy, and keep going forward daily, with the process of realizing your potential. Every single day. Realize; with joy. You're doing the same thing.  You simply change the color and temperature of your ...

At different points in your life, things simply need to get done. At the earliest stages, things done are often involuntary for kids.  (Diversion: Hence the importance of caring, attentive and loving parents... who are ready and willing to place the interests of kids beyond their own... or at least to recognise that the interests of the children ought not to be victim of their own unaddressed adult issues... Not a topic for today) One of the involuntary things is regular check ups as to your health. This means tests. The first of which today was a blood test. You didn't enjoy having your finger pricked and squeezed. We remained stoic beside you, and hopefully that'll be something that you'll pick up in time yourself. Short term pain for long term gain is a theme in life actually.  (Even in the short term there is relief following the end of a brief undesirable, but necessary, episode) Back to the short term and long term thing... The ability to forgo instant gratification i...

You had guests today Mira. Your Mum's Aunty Tania and her family. They came around to celebrate a special day.  What day?  Your one month celebration of course! Excluding yourself, there were 5 children (Milena, Matvai, Martin, Gleb & Yeva) and 4 adults (including us). A little gig, to mark a very special moment. You and your Mum's Aunt Tania & hubbie Uncle Sergei.

Your grandmother was on the line with me from Australia this morning. She is a beautiful, dedicated to family, and vivacious individual. When I spoke to her this morning, her energy was not as overtly positive as usual. UNTIL something happened.  That something was an interaction with you. Mum and I both noticed it, and it was magic to see. It was also magical to see something pop up in my Google Photo memory feed today. A moment captured on this very same date, exactly 9 years ago. A moment where your cousin Noor and your sister Dunia caught up, right here in Belarus.  (Btw, a quirky regarding those lovely girls: They were born less than a week apart from each other!) One last reflection comes from a moment where I looked up at a building whilst you were out enjoying being taken for a stroll. I say enjoying, but I'm hazarding a guess reality. You were asleep. In any event, you know that I love creativity. I love creating. I love seeing how different individuals can see differ...

The nurse came by. We asked about the spots on your face right now.  She said that they are not the result of your actions or inactions. Spots come & go in life sweetheart. They take lots of forms. They can be circumstances, they can be others, they can be thoughts. Time, the right mindset, and the right actions. That is what is needed. Time deals with itself. It relentlessly moves forward daily. It plays it's role alone. The right mindset and the right actions are things that you need to nurture within yourself. Our minds are set up to help us survive. If we want more than just to survive, and rather for example to thrive, then we need to control our minds. Learn about your brain. Learn about the different parts of the brain. Creation of new defaults, such that it is not the reptilian brain that always dominates, is something worth doing. The right actions from from the mindset. A proclivity to action and to collaboration. A focus on value add.  It will work it out. Make ...

Mira,  At 1335 (Minsk time) exactly 4 weeks ago, you joined us on planet Earth... on the outside! You are healthy and well. Attesting to that are the depth & volume that your voice has, as you use the only language available to infants. That is, screams! As to not only health, but also to happiness, in the future... another ingredient needs adding: relationships! Amazingly, you and your sister Dunia have a group of good people who care for you and for your futures. They are all over the world. Some are linked to Mum, some to Dad, some to both. Today, one of Mum's former university classmates met you. Aya from Turkmenistan. From Australia to Turkmenistan, or from Belarus to France, or the UK to the USA...not forgetting lots of stops along the way... The world has many remarkable people, who care for you. In time, you'll meet. Grow into your Be in the meantime. Then elevate by augmenting.

Challenges are an inevitable part of life darling. What is not inevitable is the impact that challenges have on us. How we look at challenges, determines more than you can imagine. A person can look at a challenge, and magnify it's significance many fold over. Another person can look at a can look at that same challenge, and by for example adopting an extremely long time horizon, she can view the situation as utterly insignificant. The difference between these two people is their mindsets. Choose mindsets that help you darling. Choose mindsets that empower you to be, and to do, what you aspire for. Choose mindsets that facilitate the realization of your potential, and your contribution to the world. I believe in you 💓. How you view, determines what you'll do. These trees who are laden with fruit. Are they are burden given their "excess" production? Or are they providing someone with an opportunity to take the excess and transform it into something even more valuable?...

As you know darling, you were born on the 18th of August. In two days from now, it'll be 4 weeks since you left the inner confines and joined us in the outside world. You've been out here for a while now :) Today was a milestone in terms of paperwork in your life. You were officially registered today. Your Mum & I (that is, your Dad :)) are of course Ulyana and Omran. You are officially Mira Matar. If we're going to go fully formal, you'll be known as Mira Omranovna Matar. This is in Cyrillic sweetheart. Looks like you're destined to be a polyglot. What a wonderful life bonus!  Languages are portals. Multiple languages provide multiple portals. Multiple portals make for a greater ability to understand others and understand the world. That ought to help make for a more magical life ahead. Wishing you exactly that.  Daily fascination and exploration. You expand the contours of your mind... you create the person that you choose... and you contribute to improving th...